This May, start the conversation to end family violence.  

10 May is Are You Safe at Home? Day – an opportunity for us all to learn how to speak to friends and family who you think might be experiencing family violence. 

Refuge Victoria believes that all people deserve to be safe, respected and valued in all our relationships. But family violence is more common than a lot of people realise – and sometimes the people experiencing family violence are those you would least expect. 

Because abuse often happens out of sight, it’s often the people closest to a 
person – their friends, family, neighbours or colleagues – who are the first 
to notice something is wrong.  

If you’re worried about someone you know, it can be hard to know what to 
do. But trust your gut. If something feels wrong, chances are you’re right. 

If you suspect a friend or colleague is not safe at home 

Are You Safe at Home? Day encourages individuals, workplaces and communities to take action by asking a simple but powerful question: ‘Are you safe at home?’ 

If you’re worried someone you know may be experiencing family violence, ask if they are safe and if there’s anything you can do to help. Many people worry they’ll be interfering, but with the right approach this conversation could make a real difference. 

Wait until you have an opportunity to speak with the person alone and in an environment that’s safe for both of you. Approach the conversation sensitively and empathetically. Don’t pressure them to talk if they are uncomfortable. Be patient and let them know you’re there if they need to talk. 

It takes a lot of strength and courage to tell someone about violence or abuse. If someone opens up to you, it’s important that you listen without interrupting, believe them, and take the abuse seriously. 

How to ask someone if they are safe at home 

It can be hard to know what to do if you’re worried someone in your life is unsafe. Simply asking, listening and believing them can have a big impact.  

This flow chart is only a guide. Approach the conversation in a way that feels right. 

Download a copy of the flowchart to print and keep.

Questions you can ask 

• What can I do to help you? 

• How is the behaviour affecting you? 

• How is the behaviour affecting your children? 

• What do you think you should do? 

• What are you afraid of if you leave? 

• What are you afraid of if you stay? 

Videos that teach you how to ask, “Are you safe at home?” 

Living in Fear: Learn more about what family violence is, and how you can access support if you are experiencing abuse. 

Recognising the signs of family violence: Learn more about the signs of family violence, and how to start the conversation with a loved one.